>The homes in this Miami Beach nabe, all in the million dollar-plus range, may not be the largest manses in the nation, but what they may lack in square footage, they certainly make up for in water views and an ideal climate. Perhaps they more resemble Beverly Hills than Southampton, where you pay a pretty price for constant sunshine. Sounds like a fair trade-off to meese.
And yet, as one of the hardest-hit regions by the latest Great Depression, who knows how much value these Miami estates have lost. One thing is for sure: for sale signs pervade the area, with pleas to purchase “or rent.” You know that’s a bad sign.Hey, I think I might be able to afford this one! Lots of “potential,” huh?
>Let’s call it sport, shall we? Hunting for the hottest guys at the Sylvia Tosun/Tom Lord-Alge party and snapping a few picolas… Wait, who said stalking? Did I hear someone say stalking? How rude.
In any case, here’s our No. 1 pic for the sexiest dude at Wednesday’s festivities…Great teeth, perfect hair, unpretentious, looks a-ok in his britches… This handsome fellow works for Sea To Sun in some capacity. I chatted with him briefly, and he was wholly friendly.No. 2: Hot Latin guy. The whole meat market appeal… and grade-A prime choice, I must say. Machismo oozing from every pore.No. 3: Total cliche of the hot gay Latin muscleman. Beautiful brown eyes, great teeth and a healthy upper torso, eh? Well done!This is quite gauche, I admit. So as long as we’re determined to be crude, how about a couple runners up?
>Oh, what a day/night! It’s tough deciding what was the best part of Sylvia Tosun and Tom Lord-Alge’s South Beach party for Miami Music Week: the sun, the booze, so many shrimp, beautiful men, the glam scene or being able to smoke cigarettes without NYC Mayor Bloomberg’s innate malfeasance…Our hosts… Sylvia Tosun and Anton Bass; and Tom Lord-Alge.Location of the party, in beautiful Miami Beach, on the water.A handful of the acts that Tom Lord-Alge has produced, engineered and mixed!And a poster comprising all of the acts he’s worked with. Coolio idea!Spanky the Maltese!Brilliant! A jukebox packed with great songs from the 1980s… when hits were memorable and made to last.Party prep, including thousands of rose petals in the pool…A food spread fit for a king!2 p.m.: The guests begin to arrive!Sylvia & Anton on the red carpet.Sea To Sun Recordings staff.Sylvia conducted a number of radio interviews during the party, while Sirius/XM broadcast live from 2-8 p.m.My (very) happy feet!Other happy feet, with an encore of my Miami-appropriate dock shoes…Anton commands the board.“Celebrity” DJ BT.Young gays doing everything they can possibly come up with to be gay.I said hello to your sisters!Looking into the party from the “dock of the bay.”Dusk’s blue hue.One last look, a roundabout of the party. Ooh, la la!
>Oh, SoBe, how I do love you. God-given temps, stunning art deco architecture, a true walking v and arguably, the most beautiful men in the world. South Beach was the first nabe in Miami to be established, back in 1910, and became a destination for millionaires in the 1920s. Art deco began to commandeer the area’s commercial boom during the next decade, although it fell into disrepair by the late 1970s.
“Miami Vice,” believe it or not, restored cachet in the 1980s, transitioning Miami Beach back into the one of the most glamorous destinations in the nation. It certainly didn’t hurt that the gays also took ownership, further gentrifying the region. We gays are good at that, you know.The former Georgian Hotel on Ocean Drive, now the restored Betsy Ross Hotel.Then, Jack’s Gift Emporium…Now…. chain joint Wings…More retro meets present…And on to hotel row on Collins Avenue and Ocean Drive…
>Lincoln Road is South Beach’s primary shopping district, which in the 1950’s became one of the nation’s first open-air pedestrian malls. Today, it continues to offer restaurants and cafes, bars, limitless shopping, theaters, art galleries and natch, no less than three Starbucks.A remnant of olden days…Hello, handsome!South Beach doggie of choice: chihuahuas.Hiya, sportie. Looking good!At night, Lincoln Road looks suspiciously like Las Vegas to meese.
>How asinine is it that the FAA still mandates that airlines provide a detailed how-to on buckling a damn seat belt during the safety instructions before every flight?
Virgin America has the right idea in its playful—bordering on cynical—safety film, in which the narrator offers in a superbly droll tone: “For the .0001% of you who have never operated a seat belt before, it works like this…” The animated video is so effective at making light of idiocy, it’s available on YouTube.
As if that’s not dumb enough, today in a restroom at Miami International Airport, I saw a sign posted above the sink that provides instructions on how to wash your hands. What’s next… a notice on how to wipe your behind? I swear, the world is getting more moronic by the minute.